The Friendship Mediator

Today I just need a light moment to vent and pose a question.  It seems more and more that I am being called on to deal with the friendships of my girls. Is anyone else having this happen?

 

Whenever I can I volunteer in one of my girls' classrooms, and I have noticed so much rudeness between these little 1st & 2nd graders that it makes me want to scream.  Including my own Grace...which really makes me want to scream.

Why is it that the classroom interaction is so different today than when I was a kid?!  I don't remember all of us being friends one day and then the friendship falling to pieces the next.  We had arguments and then worked things out. We didn't like the same things but it was okay. We stood up for one another instead of tearing others down.  And the bully was always the friendless kid until they learned to treat others nicely.

 

Has it really changed so much? 

 

Is it now considered normal to terminate friendships because you don't want to play the same things for a few weeks? 

 

When did friendship become so fragile?

 

For some reason I find myself having to coach my girls on how to be a good friend more and more.  That is absolutely perplexing to me. Did my mom have to coach me so much?  Honestly, I don't remember that at all. I was the shy kid that just wanted everyone to get along and be friends. Apparently I am still that kid just in adult form.

 

Here's my advice to my girls...let me know if you have any other tips.

• Be kind. Treat others the way that you want them to treat you. (If you are rude & hurtful to them chances are that they are going to be rude & hurtful to you too.)

 

• Ask them to play whatever you want to play. If they don't want to, suggest something else. If they still don't want to play then it's OKAY to leave and do your own thing.

 

• If you see someone being rude to someone else, stand up for them! Help them walk away from the attacks. Don't you dare stand by allowing someone to belittle another...and it's never okay to join in.  And if things escalate, get a teacher/parent involved immediately.

 

• Always reach out to the kids that are shy or seem alone.  They need someone to be friends with too.

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