Monday, April 16, 2012

Choose To Speak +, Not -

Proverbs 15:4
(New American Standard)

7A soothing tongue is a tree of life, But perversion in it crushes the spirit.

Oh how this hit me today.  It has been a battle for me to turn my speech from negative to positive when dealing with my little kiddles.  Everyday seems to bring new issues, battles, obstacles to overcome...and with everything in me, I am trying to keep from becoming the mother that I've never wanted to be.

There's been a little experiment going on without anyone knowing...yep, I'm being a bit of a stinker in doing this but it's for the goal of bettering the relationships and attitudes of my family.  The biggest magnifying glass is right over my own head though.

The largest, looming hurdle that I have is not something that anyone else brings to the table, it's my issue with having to deal with my personal brew of frusteration/temper/exhaustion/negativity.  I'll admit it, and most people hate doing that, but let's be honest...I can not pretend that I don't have to do some work on myself. 

When I can come into a situation calm, collected and offer something without tearing anything down...oh, the difference in those in the middle of it is amazing.  Rather than coming in like a bull a china shop, I am trying to breathe and find a positive solution that doesn't just put the other person on the defensive.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't...but if I just come in ready to rumble and explode, then there's a 100% guarantee that it will happen.  Here's the saddest part of it is typically with my darling daughters and not my husband.

"You collect more bees with honey than vinegar."  Those words have always been in the back of my mind thanks to my Momma.  Why it took so long for me to put it into practice with my children and husband, I don't know.  BUT it goes to show that a common saying falls right in line with God's Word above.

Ever notice how you feel when speaking uplifting, possitive, encouraging things?  There's this lightness and feeling of joy & freedom that fills you.  Stress, anxiety...those things just vanish.  Heart rate and blood pressure are possitively effected When harsh words, negativity and criticism fly then the stress level rises and all the toxins in your system start hitting you all at once.  Deadlines create enough stress, so why on earth be the creator of more?

I think that these days with all that life throws our way it is so important to not be the creator and inflictor of our own pain...or the pain of others.  When I see my daughters' little faces disheartened, discouraged, enraged or deflated...all I want to do is fix it.  And fixing it isn't always so easy when I have let words fly before hearing them first in my head. 

People in general, not just my children, respond to possitive words.  Even criticism if worded correctly for the bettering of a person is far more palletable with a touch of honey.  Honey should flow out of the mouths of those who love God & Jesus effortlessly.  Love produces praise, adoration, comfort and helps build upon the possitives while helping to overcome negatives with edifiying words.

That is how I want to be every day with my husband and little kiddles.  They face enough negatives from other individuals that flow in and out of their lives daily...I want to squash that and bring in the love and support that they need to live a happy and healty life.

God doesn't just tear us down, He encourages us in every area of our lives to be the most that we can be.  We are the apple of His eye.  He designed us to reach for the stars and believes in the amazing gifts/talents/abilities that have been placed within us.  How can we expect to bring out the best in anyone, including ourselves, unless we do the same?

My Prayer:  "God, help me to be a reflection of You by building up others and seeing what You see in them.  Let me encourage and not discourage; build and not tear down; love and not dismiss; empower and not annul.  Help me bring life to those I love with my words. Amen."

1 comment:

  1. Very well said and very true! Strive to be Pollyanna - remember the "glad game" and your life will be much happier! You will be a joy to be around, and pretty soon you will not need the honey to catch the bees because they will be swarming around you trying to collect the pollen of your positivity and love. Ever notice how some people just have people flocking to them? That is what we all crave innately, love,encouragement, and unconditional acceptance. The tongue is a two edged-sword! It has the power to give life and death. The things that you say will bring life or death to things. I applaud you precious mama of two little princesses! It is the biggest and most challenging endeavor in the world. You are doing an amazing job!! And if I had a dollar for as many times as I felt like I had blown it as a mother I would be a very wealthy woman. The only thing we can do it keep on trying to be a better version of ourselves every day!

    Your adoring Aunt who is proud of her precious niece!